The Last Days of Us Page 3

  Somehow I manage to keep from rolling my eyes.

  I feel Luc looking at me. I hope my feelings stayed off my face. ‘I don’t mind, I love any seafood,’ I say quickly. ‘Whatever we have, let’s make it soon. I’m starving.’

  ‘No wonder,’ says Jolie. ‘You’ve been swimming for hours. I thought you were going to turn into a mermaid.’

  Without warning I flash back to that magical summer at musical theatre camp when Finn and I were so together, on and off stage—his Prince Eric to my Ariel. We worked hard and sang hard and shared our first on-stage kiss. I catch my silly grin before it can spread.

  I can feel like that again. Hopefully by the end of this trip.

  I might not be able to bring Daniel back, but I can make everything else the same as it was. If I could be with Finn, I’d be able to face school and the classes that seemed so pointless after my brother died. I mean, what use is an education when you could be killed without warning? High school algebra isn’t going to help when an out-of-control car is heading your way. But with Finn there, school won’t seem like such a waste of time. And then maybe my parents will stop sighing and frowning whenever I enter the room.

  Everything will be like it was before. Maybe I could even sing again.

  I think of Dan, a giant in my life from my very first memory of him, when I was two and he climbed up on the kitchen counter to the top cupboard and grabbed a huge block of chocolate and I ate so much I was sick. Reluctantly, I push away the image of hair the exact brown of mine, and green eyes always crinkled with laughter.

  Almost everything will be like it was before.

  ‘Anyway,’ Jolie continues, ‘fish and chips would be great.’

  ‘I’ll go,’ says Luc.

  ‘I need a shower,’ says Jolie.

  ‘Me too,’ I say quickly not wanting to risk being stuck alone with Luc. ‘Here, I’ll give you some money.’

  ‘You’re not going to take the chance to try your luck at the bottle shop?’ Finn asks.

  I shake my head. They all look at me and I wonder what made Finn ask in front of his cousins. Was it a genuine question, or is he getting a little revenge for all my drinking and partying?

  ‘Really?’ Cass asks.

  Does she have to sound so surprised? I have to work to keep my voice even. ‘Really.’

  Finn shrugs like nothing happened, and starts walking towards the main street. Luc follows. Cass has her phone in her hand and doesn’t look like she plans on going anywhere.

  Pretending I don’t want to cry, I head for the showers. Jolie joins me, and in her cheerful company the need to wallow passes. It was a nothing comment. Probably a joke.

  Jolie and I debate the merits of the various Disney princesses in the otherwise empty bathroom. She makes me laugh out loud with her comparisons of princesses to various reality TV stars.

  Talking to Jolie is a relief after the faint nausea I can’t escape around Cass and Finn, heightened by the bottle shop dig. It’s not like I’m going to seduce him, I remind myself as I rinse the salt from my skin and sing along with Jolie’s off-key rendition of ‘Under the Sea’.

  All I’m doing is showing them that I’m not the girl who hurt him anymore. I’m the girl he swore he’d love forever.

  The sudden silence in the next stall takes a few seconds to sink in. Jolie stopped singing mid-chorus.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I ask.

  Nothing.

  The water next door is still running. I flip mine off, grabbing a towel. ‘Jolie?’

  There could be a million reasons she’s quiet. The soap got in her eyes, she’s concentrating on shaving something, she’s weird and likes to play jokes on virtual strangers . . . or something is seriously wrong.

  My heart is thudding so loud I’m not sure I’d hear if she replied. Because she’s not the mean jokes kind of girl. I’m sure of it.

  With my shaking hand holding my towel tight around my body I step out into the empty bathroom and bang on the locked door. If she doesn’t answer, I’ll break in. Somehow. We’re in a packed campsite. If I scream, someone will come. ‘Jolie?’

  There’s a flick and the lock clicks open.

  I push at the door.

  Jolie is slumped on the floor, her legs half in the water, her body mostly covered by a towel. She musters a weak smile, her lips almost the colour of her pale face.

  ‘Are you okay? You scared me.’ I reach past her and switch off the water, then kneel at her side. ‘Do you want me to get someone?’

  She shakes her head, but the simple movement looks like it uses all of her energy. ‘I’m fine . . . I just . . . overdid it today and didn’t eat enough.’

  I think back to the way she picked at her muffin at the rest stop. If she did the same with lunch it might explain things. ‘Are you on a diet?’

  ‘Something like that.’

  ‘You’re better off eating regularly and exercising. Starving yourself is not the way.’ I bite down on my lip to stop the lecture.

  ‘I know, I was silly, I really didn’t mean to, but the day’s been so exciting.’ She straightens, and although she’s still leaning against the tiled wall, some of the colour returns to her cheeks. ‘There’s a packet of snakes in my bag. If you could chuck me one, I’ll feel much better.’

  I find her lolly stash and hand a few over. ‘That’s not dinner.’

  I know I sound like my mother, but I can’t quite shake the fear I felt when she didn’t respond.

  ‘I’ll have dinner when the boys come back, I promise.’ Her hand clutches the edge of the towel. ‘Please don’t tell Luc about this.’

  I hesitate. ‘I’m no tattletale, but you don’t look great.’

  The smile she gives me has more of her usual spark. ‘Please. He’ll call Dad and send me home and I couldn’t . . .’ She blinks back tears. ‘They already think sixteen’s too young to come.’

  I cave. It’s not my place to ruin her trip, but I’ll be watching to make sure she eats. ‘Okay.’

  She wipes a hand across her nose. ‘Now we’ve sorted that, what is your shower gel? Is that basil I can smell?’

  ‘Yep, it’s delicious.’ I back out of the stall, giving her some space. ‘If you’re okay, I’ll just finish up. I’ll show you the bottle once we’re dressed.’

  She waves her hand for me to go. I step back and avert my eyes, but don’t completely leave until she’s back on her feet.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she insists, seeing my hesitation.

  I nod and shut the door.

  * * *

  After scraping up the last of the tartare sauce with a flaky piece of battered garfish, I pop one last chip in my mouth and stand. ‘I’m gonna burst. That was amazing.’

  There are contented nods all around. I’m relieved that Jolie ate plenty, and resolve to put the shower incident out of my mind.

  I point along the beach. ‘Anyone for a walk?’

  It’s not that I don’t love the way Cass is leaning contentedly against Finn, but I’m full and I need to move, or I’ll fall asleep where I sit. Jolie shakes her head, and doesn’t try to cover a yawn. ‘Not me.’

  ‘I’ll come,’ says Cass.

  Finn and Luc don’t answer, but they get to their feet when Cass does.

  Luc turns back to Jolie. ‘Will you be okay?’

  She crosses her arms. ‘I’m not a baby.’ He ignores her attempt to deflect his question with a quarrel and she eventually sighs. ‘I’ll head straight back to the van and lock myself in. There’s light all the way. Want to watch every step I take? Hold my hand?’

  ‘No,’ he says. ‘I’m good.’ But there’s tension in his shoulders.

  I get that he’s her brother, but Daniel would so not have babied me like that at her age. The thought of my big brother sends a slice of pain beneath my ribs. ‘Leave her alone,’ I snap. They both look at me, Jolie appreciative and Luc’s eyes too dark to read. I gesture at the street, where families are still out enjoying the summer night. ‘It’s not like she’s going
to a deserted alleyway. We can see the van from here.’

  Thanks, Jolie mouths, and heads up the sand.

  Despite the promise that it’s perfectly safe, Luc lingers to make sure she reaches the van safely.

  Once she’s slammed the door shut, we head along the shore. Unsurprisingly, Cass sighs after about five minutes. Other than dancing, exercise isn’t her thing. I remember one time on ninth grade camp where she faked getting her period to get out of running dawn laps around the lake with the rest of us.

  She collapses into the sand like she’s run a marathon. ‘I’m not walking any further.’

  ‘Haven’t you been sitting all day?’ I tease.

  She shrugs. ‘I went in the water too. It’s nice here, this is far enough.’

  Finn sits beside her. ‘Me too. It’s a bit boring.’

  Something squeezes in my chest. Finn and I used to always go for walks along the beach. We’d talk and hold hands and make out. I thought he loved those times.

  But he’s looking at Cass and I can’t ask, even if the words would come, because he’s not mine anymore.

  ‘You coming?’

  The question is from Luc, already a few steps up the beach.

  I realise I’ve been staring at Finn and Cass, who are both checking their phones. My cheeks flush. ‘Sure.’ My annoyance with myself makes the reply come out snarkier than I intended. His jaw tightens but he shrugs and walks on, and I fall into step beside him.

  The setting sun adds a soft glow to the curve of the beach where it meets the gently lapping water. If I was with Finn it would be romantic. I’d swing my hand close to his and he’d take it, and I wouldn’t feel alone. I am so tired of being alone. But walking with Luc, the lasting light simply means I’m less likely to stack it on the remains of a sandcastle. Which means he gets one less chance to see me at my worst, a side of me he seems to bring out with terrifying ease.

  I wait for Luc to speak, maybe make some dig about hurting his cousin, but he doesn’t. Before long I relax into the easy rhythm of walking, ignoring the nearness of him and instead breathing in the sea air and trying not to look back to see if Cass and Finn are making out.

  ‘Sorry,’ I say eventually. We’ve rounded a curve in the shoreline, so now even if I look back I won’t be able to pick out the shapes of Finn and Cass. ‘I shouldn’t have been such a bitch.’

  ‘I know I’m not the company you wanted.’

  I glance sideways at him, but he’s staring straight ahead. Does he know I want Finn back? Does he see the mess I still am inside, despite all my efforts to pretend otherwise? I give myself a mental shake. He’s a stranger. Anything he thinks he knows is pure speculation. ‘I wanted to walk, that’s all.’ I’m glad my voice is light and carefree. ‘It’s a beautiful night.’

  He stops and looks down at me. In the moonlight his face is all planes and shadows, and dark, intense eyes. ‘It is.’

  And for one crazy, stupid second I think he’s referring to more than just the no-filter-required scenery. My pulse skips. ‘I . . .’

  But then he’s looking back the way we came. ‘I should get back,’ he says.

  It must have been in my head. The guy has made no secret of his scorn for me. ‘Okay. I’ll meet you at the campsite.’

  He opens his mouth and I brace for a snide comment, but he doesn’t say anything. With a shrug, he turns and heads back along the sand. For a while I watch him. As the breeze makes goosebumps rise on my skin, the realisation that I’m alone again is impossible to ignore.

  * * *

  I don’t know who brought the cushions, but combined with our sleeping bags they make our little campsite pretty comfortable. No-one seems in a hurry to put up a tent, and when Finn suggests sleeping under the stars everyone except Luc is quick to agree.

  ‘What if it rains later?’ he says, looking at Jolie.

  She makes a show of looking up at the cloudless sky. ‘Not much of a weather forecaster, are you, bro?’

  I imagine I can hear his teeth grinding in annoyance. ‘Just because it’s warm now doesn’t mean it won’t get cold overnight.’

  ‘He has a point,’ Finn says, trying to keep the peace. But neither Jolie nor Luc spares him a glance.

  There’s a battle happening here and my money’s on Jolie. She doesn’t seem the type to put up with the overprotective brother thing.

  And I can’t say I’m disappointed at having a front row seat to see Mr Superior put in his place by his diminutive sister. It takes less than a minute of them glaring at each other for Jolie to bring up the weather app on her phone and wave it triumphantly in his face. ‘See? It’ll be warm all night. Not to mention the fact that I have a swag and a sleeping bag rated for, like, the arctic.’

  He’s unmoved. ‘I’m putting up the tent.’

  There’s a pang in my heart. He seems determined to look after her, whether she likes it or not.

  Jolie’s not budging either. ‘I won’t let you baby me.’

  ‘Then stop acting like a baby,’ he fires back, pressing his fingers against his temples. ‘I said I’d look after you and damned if I’m going to ignore that promise just because you think it’s uncool.’ He doesn’t shout, but the steel in his voice is unmistakable. He crosses to the van and grabs a bag from the roof rack.

  ‘I’m not sleeping in the stupid tent,’ says Jolie, but there’s a wobble, and maybe a hint of resignation, in her voice.

  There’s something going on here. I glance at Cass to share a ‘what just happened?’ look, but she’s concentrating on her phone. Again. And when I look to Finn he’s already on his feet, helping Luc with the tent.

  I sit back and watch them work, joining Jolie in her determination not to have anything to do with the tent. She shoots a grin my way.

  You can’t tell Luc and Finn are related. Finn is so warm and friendly, smiling apologetically at Jolie every few minutes and brushing a hand on Cass’s shoulder as he passes. Luc doesn’t look our way at all. The tent is his sole focus. I find myself trying to work out if he’s generally antisocial, doesn’t like us in particular, or is afraid he’ll give in to his little sister’s glares if he doesn’t get the tent up fast.

  By the time they’re done, I’m halfway through my soft drink and I don’t remember tasting it at all. Finn shows off his accomplishment to Cass and she claps her hands. His mock bow in response makes her laugh and I look away.

  A middle-aged woman stops at the edge of our campsite on her way back from the shower, her hair wrapped in a towel, and clears her throat until we look her way. ‘We are travelling with small children. I would appreciate you keeping the noise down.’

  Luc finds his voice first. ‘O-kay.’

  ‘I mean it.’

  ‘O-kay,’ he repeats, shooting us a WTF? look.

  The woman’s hands go to her hips, causing her robe to gape unfortunately. ‘I’ll make a complaint.’

  ‘About?’ Luc appears genuinely puzzled by the conversation, as well as concerned about where to look to avoid an eyeful of flesh.

  Her gesture encompasses all of us. ‘Anything I choose.’

  Then she turns on her heel and storms away, stopping a couple of sites over from ours.

  We’re all still trying to process the encounter when a harried-looking man trots past with twin boys trailing behind him. ‘Don’t mind what Rizzo says, you kids be sure and have a good time.’ He smiles, and there’s something like envy in his expression as he herds the boys towards their caravan.

  We share stunned looks.

  ‘Well, I’ll consider myself told,’ says Cass with a smirk.

  ‘Maybe you should join them,’ Jolie teases Luc. ‘Seems like she liked you, and it has been a while since you dated.’

  He glares and Finn laughs.

  I can’t help noting his single status. Maybe some girl broke his heart.

  The woman shrieks something at her kids and I shake my head. The way she’s yelling, she should be apologising for messing up our night. I don’t expect th
e sight of a group of teens nearby to make anyone ecstatic, but she could at least wait until we actually do something wrong before deciding we’re trouble.

  And the night is young.

  CHAPTER

  4

  Night is dark, you’re my light. I’m alone, I’m dark inside.

  ‘Remember’—GRAY

  ‘Game time,’ Jolie announces when we’ve finally agreed on tomorrow’s route. It’s dark now, but the caravan park has plenty of lights between the campsites and there are still lots of people around. Laughter carries from our neighbours to the left, an elderly couple playing a fierce game of cards.

  ‘It’s pretty late,’ Luc replies.

  I’m not sure what his problem is but he’s starting to be a real downer. I get that Gray isn’t his thing, but it’s not like we’re forcing him to be here.

  From the look on Jolie’s face, it seems I’m not the only one getting tired of his attitude. She waves at the tent. ‘Feel free, Lucien, to take your party animal personality to bed.’ Then she leans forward to grin at the rest of us, giving her unmoving brother the cold shoulder. ‘The question is, which game? Usually, I have nothing against spin the bottle, but since I’m related to half the people here . . .’ She shudders. ‘I think we’ll be better off with truth or dare.’

  ‘I’m in,’ I say. While I have no interest in revealing anything to these people, I’m too keyed up to sleep. And maybe a little wary of Finn and Cass disappearing into their swags. They haven’t looked much like a couple for most of today. Keeping them apart for a little while longer can’t hurt.

  Jolie looks to Finn, her expression a mixture of demand and pleading. She’s a hard girl to refuse.

  ‘For a while,’ he says.

  ‘I’ll play,’ Cass agrees.

  Luc says nothing, but he doesn’t move away.

  ‘You first,’ I say to Jolie. ‘Truth or dare?’

  She tilts her head and makes a show of considering Luc and Finn. ‘I think I’ll choose . . . dare. There are too many things I don’t want to share with these boys.’

  I laugh. ‘Okay.’

  ‘But nothing creepy,’ she adds.

  I consider. There’s been a steady stream of people going past to the shower block and the front kiosk, where they sell ice-creams. ‘I dare you,’ I pause and let the anticipation build. ‘I dare you to stop the next person who walks past, declare your instant and undying devotion to them, and ask for their number.’