What I Saw Read online

  By the time Javier ducks under the ropes and steps into the ring, my focus is scrambled. Callie, Dad, Hayden Chapman. I breathe deep, try for control. If I don’t have it I’ll be on my arse in about five seconds.

  We meet in the middle and touch gloves.

  ‘First blow?’ he asks.

  I shake my head. I need more than that. ‘Knockdown.’

  Javier doesn’t argue.

  We spar, circling each other. He’s taller, stronger and faster than me, but I am beyond pissed off. I can’t be fucked using the tactics he’s taught me. I strike, aiming for his face. He deflects easily. My glove scrapes the side of his head.

  He glares. ‘Don’t mess the hair.’

  I strike again, trying for the slight opening under his arm. The connection of leather on skin echoes in the dusty space. He gushes air, hunching slightly. I follow up with a combination of left and right, but his defences are back in place.

  ‘What happened?’ he asks.

  I answer with another attempted head shot. A wild swing I’d usually be ashamed to try.

  He punishes me. Kidney, gut, mouth.

  I stumble back, blinking. Drag my hands up to protect against the knockout blow. Hit the rope, bounce back.

  Another blow. Solar plexus.

  Air smashes from my chest. I claw it back. Haul oxygen into starving lungs. The black creeps around the edges of my vision. I blink, still trying to breathe. If my eyes close I’m done.

  I lick at my lip and taste the salty tang of my own blood.

  Move. I force heavy legs into motion.

  Each breath is a harsh victory, each moment I remain upright a delay and a chance.

  I dummy to hit him, trying to work Javier backwards and gain a couple more seconds’ reprieve. The jab hits a bicep and bounces off. I swing again. My lungs are burning. My arms are on fire. Swing again. The hammer of my heart drowns even my gasps for air. Another swing.

  He steps forward with the smooth motion of the beast I fight every single day. There’s a rush in my ears and I watch him strike. Right, left, right. I see each one coming but can’t force my sluggish limbs to move fast enough to do anything about it. The last punch is perfectly placed.

  My ears ring.

  I sway back, open to the killer blow. He doesn’t take it. Doesn’t need to.

  Thump.

  I’m on my arse.

  He crouches over me. ‘Are we done here?’

  ‘Yes.’

  He shakes off a glove and holds out his hand to pull me to my feet. ‘Now, we talk.’

  I laugh. Each vibration through my body is a mini-jackhammer. ‘Give me a minute.’

  He does. Slumped on the ground, feeling every hit, I watch as he crosses to the shower room. I still haven’t moved when he returns a few minutes later, showered and dressed.

  Without a word he helps with the gloves and when I drag the helmet from my aching skull he takes that too. He’s breaking his own gym rules about cleaning up after yourself when he wipes both of them off and puts them away.

  He tosses me a towel, grabs us each a drink and waits for me to join him at the small table next to the ring.

  I sit opposite. ‘Thanks.’ Drinking hurts my mouth and I move my jaw from side to side gingerly. ‘I think you’ve broken something.’

  ‘I doubt it.’

  He’s right. I’ve had enough bouts in the ring to know that I won’t even have a bruise to show tomorrow. ‘Still hurts like hell.’

  ‘Wasn’t that the point?’

  It kind of was. I sip at the drink, allowing the lemon fizz to soothe the ache in my head. Javier waits for me to talk. I’m not getting away from here without an explanation, but he won’t rush me.

  When I’ve drained the last drop, I can’t put it off any longer. ‘Dad’s up for parole.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Could turn up today for all I know. I need to be around.’

  He takes that in. ‘How was the visit to the police station?’

  ‘Waste of time. I’ve got no evidence.’

  ‘Get some.’

  ‘Yeah, because it’s that easy.’

  He slides his chair back and stands. ‘I didn’t say it would be easy. Easy is for suckers.’ He leans over the table, forcing me to look up to meet dark eyes. He’s intent. More threatening than he ever was in the ring. ‘If it was my family, I’d do anything.’

  ‘There’s a girl who saw what happened, but she has no reason to support me.’

  He sits again with a grin. ‘Then you need to give her one.’

  CHAPTER

  9

  Callie

  I have no intention of going to the bonfire. My head hurts, my stomach is still queasy and I’m tired. And after talking to Rhett I don’t think I can stand to go out and pretend I don’t know he’s innocent.

  Dad, though, has other ideas. I’m stacking the dishwasher when he corners me. He tries to help but puts the glasses where the bowls should go and I have to rearrange everything. If it’s not right, Mum will get annoyed.

  ‘There’s a party at the beach tonight, isn’t there?’ he asks, way too casually.

  ‘Why?’

  He pushes his glasses up on his nose. ‘Your mum and I are worried about Sean. He’s been playing those shooting games without a break. We think he’s taking Hayden’s accident to heart. Going out might be good for him.’

  I slam the dishwasher closed with more force than I intended. ‘Poor little Sean.’

  His hand comes out to touch my shoulder. ‘Don’t be cross. I know Hayden’s your friend too.’

  It’s not how I’d have described him, even before I saw what a creep he really is. I should have backed up Scarlett at the hospital and told Bree the truth, but I wimped out. She should know what he’s really like, but I didn’t want to make her any more upset.

  Dad’s concerned hand is still on my shoulder. ‘How are you handling it all?’

  ‘I’m okay.’ I look him in the eye. ‘What about you? Is there anything going on, like, at work?’ This is more direct than the general question I asked earlier. Harder for him to fob off.

  He doesn’t answer for a long second. ‘Work’s fine.’

  ‘But if it wasn’t, you’d tell me?’ I play my trump card. ‘Because you know I hate secrets.’ It’s low, considering I don’t exactly tell my parents everything, and I’m keeping a secret so huge it’s eating me up from the inside, but I need to know if Sean is right. ‘If I promise to take Sean to the stupid bonfire will you tell me what’s going on?’

  Dad won’t look at me. He sighs. ‘It’s hard to explain.’

  ‘Try.’

  ‘Try what?’ The question comes from Mum, who clicks into the kitchen on navy high heels that match the pencil skirt and blouse she wears for work. Our only income source, if Sean’s suspicions are correct. ‘What are you two talking about?’ She’s perfectly made up, but no amount of foundation or eyeliner can disguise the worry in her voice.

  As usual the sight of her so perfectly put together fills me with relief. She’s been well for so long but I never stop watching for signs that she’s stressing. Money problems are hard on anyone. If she knew what Sean had done it would only make things worse.

  I drop my hand to my side. ‘I was asking Dad if there’s something going on with his work that I should know about.’

  Her gaze swings between the two of us.

  ‘Please,’ I add.

  She sighs. ‘Honey, it’s true that your Dad’s employment situation is a bit uncertain right now, but we’re handling it.’

  It’s all the confirmation I need. I take a deep breath. ‘What if, when the scholarship winner is announced on Monday, it’s not me?’ Saying it aloud tightens the knots in my belly.

  ‘It will be.’ Mum’s in front of me now. The late afternoon sunlight streams through the kitchen windows and tiny dust motes dance around her face.

  ‘But—’

  Mum brushes a gentle hand across my cheek. ‘Don’t worry, honey. You�
��re the smartest person in that place and I know you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise the scholarship you’ve worked so hard to win.’ When I don’t agree straight away, she frowns. ‘Would you?’

  Standing behind Mum, Dad implores me with tired eyes to agree.

  ‘No, Mum.’

  She relaxes. Her perfectly outlined lips widen in a smile. ‘You’re a good girl.’

  Great. Just what I want to be. Like it has a billion times today, Rhett’s face appears in my mind. Around him I don’t feel like a good girl. He makes me want to break the rules. It’s probably a good thing I have no reason to see him again.

  ‘Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?’ Mum asks. But she’s already checking her tablet on the benchtop. As far as she’s concerned, everything has been sorted out.

  I take three steps towards the door but stop. I need to know. ‘There’s one more thing. What happens if Sean can’t play football?’

  Her head comes up. Her finger is frozen over the tablet screen. ‘Why?’

  I scramble for a reason that isn’t getting kicked off the team because his own sister ratted him out for hospitalising his captain with a single punch while attempting to assault another student. ‘An injury or something.’

  ‘You don’t need to worry about him.’

  ‘But if money’s tight …’

  ‘Yes, things are tough right now but we’ll be fine. Anyway, Sean wanted us to keep it quiet, but we’ve already had interest from scouts.’ Pride shines in her eyes.

  Dad is busy wiping the already dry vase on the sink. He doesn’t look my way. ‘You know football is Sean’s dream. He’s never been academic like you are. We need to support him in every way we can.’

  ‘So basically without football, Sean’s stuffed.’

  Dad frowns. ‘Callie.’

  ‘It’s true, isn’t it?’

  They share a look. Then Dad turns back to me. ‘Football is all Sean wants to do and he has the talent to make a career of it. There, we’ve answered your questions. Don’t forget you said you’d take him to the party.’

  I nod, resigned, and Dad heads towards the TV that’s blaring at the back of the house. I can’t help mentally comparing our flat screen with cable to the old box at Rhett’s house.

  ‘Why do we still have cable?’

  Mum glances up. ‘You expect us to advertise our situation to the whole neighbourhood?’

  ‘Oh.’ I guess cancelling our subscription would give away the fact that we’re having money problems. Mum wouldn’t be able to show her face in the local cafes.

  I can’t believe I didn’t notice Dad not working. For as long as I can remember he’s had his laptop out in the evening and on weekends. If he was working on a problem, he wouldn’t rest until he’d nutted it out.

  When I was in primary school I’d often race up to him with a tale to share and he’d try to listen, but it was like he was still seeing computer code written in the air between us. Mum said there was no point trying to hold a proper conversation with him when he was in that mood.

  I want to ask how his boss could have let someone go who was so good at their job, but I’m afraid of what answering that question might do to him. Or to me.

  On my way upstairs to change for the party, I detour past the blaring TV. Dad and Sean stare at the game. Dad’s big, lined hands hang empty and awkward at his side. The oddness that didn’t really register until now makes sense. He has no computer in his lap.

  He looks up, catches me staring. ‘I told Sean you’d drive him to the party.’

  I glance at my brother but he’s looking straight ahead at the TV. It’s not unusual for Sean to be more caveman than conversationalist but I can’t help wondering if he’s agonising over what he did. Or whether he’s told himself so many times that Rhett threw the punch that by now he believes his own lies.

  ‘I’m leaving in twenty minutes,’ I warn.

  Sean still doesn’t acknowledge me, but Dad nods for him.

  Once upstairs, I shower and put on the outfit I planned with Bree during lunch at school yesterday. The soft black and pink dress I bought in the sales is a little light for the night air, but when I add my prized faded black denim jacket, I’m warm enough. I don’t intend to stay too long.

  Black wedged heels complete the ensemble but I have to check my reflection to make sure it looks the way we planned. Nothing seems to fit quite right against my skin. It’s as though the clothes were intended for someone else.

  The girl in the mirror stares back with eyes that don’t quite meet mine.

  Maybe I’ve become someone else.

  I take the stairs quickly. Tonight they’re not as terrifying as what lies ahead of me if I don’t work out what I’m going to say come Monday.

  Every time I think I’ve made up my mind, something happens to make me change it again.

  Like Dad being out of work.

  Like getting to know Rhett.

  I remember the moment at his house when I was sure he was going to kiss me … And then I ruined everything by reminding him about Jonny. My heel catches the edge of the last step and I nearly face plant into the tiles at the bottom. My heart thuds against my ribs as I cling to the rail and all thoughts of Rhett vanish, replaced by memories I’ve learned to keep at bay.

  It’s late at night. The only light is from the moonlight shining through the windows and the glow from my bedroom down the hall. My best friend Roxy’s big eyes are shining in the moonlight. We muffle excited giggles as we nearly trip over each other, creeping from my bedroom. My awe at her daring. Her slipping. Falling. The flashing lights of the ambulance.

  The promise I made myself later.

  I’m going to be a doctor.

  I blink and once again it’s late afternoon and the red in the air is simply the setting sun shining through the glass inserts in the front door.

  I straighten up and force my feet to move. If I want to keep my vow, I need to stay focused on the present.

  The TV is still blaring in the back room but Dad is the only one watching it now. Or more accurately, staring in the general direction of the screen.

  I jingle my keys until he looks my way. ‘I’m ready to go. Where’s Sean?’

  ‘He said goodbye before. I thought he went with you.’

  Seems I’m not the only one who isn’t in the mood for a family car ride. ‘I’m still here.’

  ‘I can see that. Wait.’ He grabs his phone.

  While I wait, I shift from foot to foot, impatient to leave, if not to get there.

  A moment later he looks up. ‘One of his friends picked him up.’

  Before I can work out whether this means I can get out of going, he adds, ‘But you’ll check on him, won’t you? And bring him home afterwards.’

  I didn’t make school captain by being the kind of daughter who tells her dad where to go. ‘I’ll text you.’

  ‘Good girl.’

  His praise adds more weight to my decision as I walk out to my car. I don’t see Mum on my way through the house, and I’m thankful she doesn’t get another opportunity to remind me not to do anything to mess up my scholarship chances.

  I start the car but don’t put it into drive. My head seeks the cool leather of the steering wheel.

  It makes sense to keep quiet. Despite what it will do to Rhett. A hot boy with a killer smile, who makes me laugh when there’s nothing I feel like doing less. If he takes the blame, the consequences for him will be so much worse than missing out on a stupid scholarship. Like being locked up and leaving his family to cope alone.

  Family …

  Someone’s turned on the lights in our house but not thought to shut the blinds yet. Mum’s and Dad’s silhouettes show behind the lace curtains. They’re standing with their heads close together. They must have so much to talk about.

  How long can we keep pretending we have an income? Are we living off savings? Where’s my allowance coming from?

  Middle-class problems, Rhett might say, but they’re
mine.

  I put the car into gear and slam on the accelerator, needing something to distract me from this lose-lose situation. Destroy my family or Rhett’s? My brother’s future or his? Risk the scholarship and my dream of being a doctor, or forever live with Sean’s secret and my guilt?

  The thud of my palm on the steering wheel isn’t the dramatic sound I was hoping for. I turn out of our street, away from the beach and the party, and head towards the hospital.

  I need to talk to Bree.

  * * *

  Bree sits alone in the corner of the small waiting room attached to the high-care unit. Her head is bowed and she’s checking her phone but her fingers don’t move and she doesn’t seem to be seeing the screen. I hesitate in the doorway. She’s always been such a people person. I never considered that she might want to be alone.

  ‘Bree?’

  Her head comes up and it’s like she switches on. The trembling begins in her lip and she leaps to her feet and crosses for a dramatic embrace.

  I squeeze back lightly. ‘Any news?’

  ‘No.’ She sighs heavily and frowns. ‘What are you doing here? You should be at the party.’

  ‘You’re not the first to say that.’

  ‘Well?’

  ‘I’m on my way.’

  ‘This is in the complete opposite direction. What’s going on?’ Her hand goes to the jacket she borrowed from me earlier. ‘You want this? I don’t think it really goes with that dress.’

  ‘I’m not here for the jacket.’ This is the moment. Rhett’s accusation that I don’t care enough about Bree to protect her from a creep like Hayden rings in my ears. I have to tell her what her boyfriend was up to. I take a sip from the water bottle I’ve been gripping so tightly my hands ache. ‘I wanted to talk to you.’

  She waves her phone. ‘Duh? You can message me while I’m stuck here. That’s what friends are for.’

  Maybe her sadness isn’t only for Hayden. ‘I’m sure no-one would mind if you left for a while. You deserve a break.’

  ‘Every time his mum comes back—’ she glances towards the doors to the high-care unit and lowers her voice, ‘—she’s so happy to see me still here. She says it means someone other than them believes he’ll wake up.’ Her phone buzzes and she fires off a quick text. ‘I told Jonny you’re on your way.’